Serious Reality
by mrld97
Summary: "Serious reality has a hard time coming through to Sodapop, but when it does, it hits him hard."  Takes place 8 months before The Outsiders actually takes place.
1. Death and Shock

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders**

**Note: This starts 8 months before The Outsiders actually takes place.**

"_Serious reality has a hard time coming through to Sodapop, but when it does, it hits him hard."_

8 Months ago

Soda doesn't like school so much. On days when he can't sit in a class wasting his life stuck listening to teachers talk about things that he doesn't think will ever help in his life at all, like today, he just has to skip and do something productive.

Not that Sodapop thinks school is completely pointless; he mostly doesn't like it because he doesn't get it. Maybe if he were good, like Pony, he would like it more. Ponyboy likes school a lot because he likes learning. For him school comes pretty easy; mostly coming home with A's and B's. Our parents don't even have to push him to do good in school, he does it his own.

Sodapop snuck out the side door of the school. It's pretty easy to get out; we don't got so much people guarding doors; there are plenty just waiting for someone to leave and ditch school and have some fun. At least that's how Soda sees it. Pony sees it as an "emergency exit".

Sure, his folks find out about the ditching when his teachers mark him absent and call home. They usually don't ground him, it's just lectures about how school is important, and they give him a warning saying next time he'll be grounded.

As he walked home from hanging and causing some trouble with Dallas and Johnny, he hoped today wouldn't be the day he get's grounded.

Dally and Johnny headed to the drug store when before Soda headed home. Soda was on his street and noticed his parents' car wasn't there.

_Where'd they go?_

They were usually home by the time he got home in the evening. Mom's usually cooking dinner and dad probably would've just got home from helping at the stables.

Maybe Dallas took it out.

Soda got the mail, opened the gate and walked up to the house.

He was about to turn open the door knob, but heard Ponyboy yelling… or maybe pleading.

It was pretty muffled, and hard to hear. Soda literally put his ear to the door.

"No! They'll be home soon! I think I heard them waking up stairs outside a few seconds ago! Darry, it's not true! It's not true!" He sounded a few years younger than 13 right now.

Soda wondered what was wrong, and he quickly opened the door.

Ponyboy's eyes quickly widened with hope when I opened the door, but his expression changed when he knew it was me. His eyes were red and puffy. Soda's eyes were suddenly filled with worry and confusion as he looked to Darry for an explanation.

Darry jammed his fingers into his pockets and looked down. His hands were shaking.

Ponyboy ran into our room and closed the door. He fell onto the bed and put his face into his pillow; crying silently.

Sodapop started to go after him, but hesitantly he walked back to Darry.

"What's going on?" His voice cracked when he said the last word. Soda could tell something was bad.

Darry took a deep breath, and looked up. Soda almost had to take a step back. Darry's eyes looked heartbroken, just like Pony's. But it's different, because Soda's never _ever_ seen Darry so upset in all the 16 years he's known him.

"Mom and dad are dead." He said, looking right into Sodapop's chocolate brown eyes.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Mom and dad got in a car wreck. The hospital called, and they are dead, Sodapop."

When Soda didn't respond, he kept talking.

"I didn't find out until I got home about and hour and a half ago. They kept calling the house all morning, but no one was here. I decided to pull you and Ponyboy out of school early so you would know. You weren't there though." He looked over to Sodapop.

Sodapop was still in shock.

"No." He said lowly.

"What?" Darry asked, not really listening. He was in his own thought. _Dead_. _Our parents are gone._ Darry was saying a million times over in his head.

"No. They're not gone."

Darry walked to me, "Look, Soda, I've already got Pony going this on me. It's true, and it's real." He said, stiffly and hesitantly. He could have said that gentler and he knew it. He had to take it slow. It took a while for him to come to realize reality, so it would take Pony and Soda longer. They were kids.

Sodapop shook his head, "Well they're lying! How do you know they're dead? Did you go see them? You can't just believe something like that over a phone call. Maybe it was a phony call. Someone pulling a bad joke."

"Soda it ain't no joke. I went to the hospital as soon as I got the call. It's true. And I'm not letting you go down there." It was hard for Darry to even say it. Admit the truth; know it's real. We ain't gonna see them again. The thought made him shiver, and his heart pounded as if it would come right through his chest. He wanted to cry, but he wouldn't in front of his brother.

"Stop," Soda took a step back and swallowed hard, he sounded as if he would start sobbing any second, "lying to me."

Soda calmly walked to his room. He and Ponyboy shared it. His bed was on one side and his brother's was on the other.

He first noticed his Ponyboy wiping his eyes. Soda never seen him like this either.

He sat down onto Pony's bed, "Hey, Pony."

Pony didn't answer, because if he did the tears would've came out again.

"Don't cry, Ponyboy." Sodapop told his little kid brother as he rubbed his back.

Ponyboy still didn't say anything.

It wasn't true. His parents weren't dead. This is just some dream.

Sometimes Sodapop has funny dreams when he has too much sugar the night before. One time he had a dream where he and Steve accidently crashed Elvis Presley's car. He never remembered how it ended; he probably woke up.

Now Sodapop just had to wake up.

He climbed into Pony's bed and fell asleep. Pony laid back too, but didn't fall asleep as easy as Soda. He had too much on his mind.

Pony thinks a lot before he goes to bed. When he thinks, he can't go to sleep. Sometimes it'll take him an hour.

Soda on the other hand can fall asleep in two minutes. He doesn't think like Pony.

Soda just wanted to wake up from this nightmare he was having. Just wake up, and everything will be okay.

An hour later, Soda woke up in Pony's bed. Ponyboy was gone.

For a second, he wondered why he was in Ponyboy's bed, but memory soon swept over him quickly.

It was a dream. He now could even laugh about it. He walked out of his room, and called, "Mom?"

Silence. The house wasn't ever so quiet.

He heard a chair move in the kitchen and someone walk across the room.

Darry.

"Where's Mom and Dad, Darry?"

Darry was surprised, and then upset. He realized what Soda was doing. He doesn't want to believe the truth. None of us did, but it's always harder with Sodapop.

"Soda…" Darry said slowly whispered, "They're gone."

Soda's mood suddenly switched, and he was both angry and upset at the same time. "Darry. Stop messing around with me. It's not funny."

"Soda… listen to me," He hated seeing his brother like this. It breaks him. "They are not here."

He had to stay strong. He was the oldest, and he couldn't cry in front of Soda.

Ponyboy got up from the kitchen table. Darry was talking to him; trying to calm him down. He was in hysterics a little while ago, but he stopped crying. Darry knew when he'll see Soda he'll start up again, though.

He stood silently next to Darry.

Ponyboy tried to stay strong a lot of times. He didn't always like being the "baby". He likes to look tough, but on the inside he's bawling out a waterfall.

His parents were dead. How were they even supposed to go on? None of them really thought about it, and they didn't want to until they had to.

Sodapop hasn't cried yet. He was telling himself it wasn't true over and over again.

Ponyboy suddenly hugged Sodapop and sobbed into him. Sodapop jumped a little, and pat Pony's back. He shut his eyes, and looked up to Darry.

"It's true, isn't it." He didn't ask it as a question. His voice was choky, "They're dead?"

Darry nodded, and hugged his two brothers tightly.

Soda and Pony were bawling, and Darry's heart was pounding.

Gone.

What was going to happen to their family?

_The Next Morning_

Soda didn't sleep much. This time, he couldn't because he knew it was real. Serious reality has a hard time coming through to Soda, but when it does, it hits him hard. His parents could've crashed into that other car when he was walking right out the door to ditch. When Soda was enjoying himself with Dally and Johnny, his parents were dead! He kept think how sick of a person he was.

Soda was laying awake in bed on his side. Staring at the side of the wall, thinking. _What will happen? I can't just live without my parents._ I'll have to wake up in the morning, and they won't even be there. They won't ever be in the kitchen again. Soda gulped, and his head was hurtin' bad. It was too much to handle, and so little time to even understand. It was coming too fast. Just yesterday morning Mom was making us eggs for breakfast, and my dad was reading the paper a few minutes before he left for work. Mom was talking to us about how she and dad would take us fishing real soon, because we only went once when we were younger. She'd told us we can take the whole gang. Well we couldn't now. We wouldn't ever go fishing with them again.

On the other side of the room, Pony was lying awake just like Soda. He couldn't stop thinking, he may have slept half an hour last night. He had his parents his whole life, and now they just disappear. He wondered who crashed into who. Was it Mom and Dad's fault, or the other person? He found it weird how people die everyday, but it doesn't affect you at all unless you know them. You know them, and your whole life changes. Everything is different then. So many people die, so it affects so many people's lives, but Pony never looked at it quite like that. He never thought much of it until now.

You just can't go on without having parents. Ponyboy didn't even want to think about what life was going to be like now? If he did, he'd cry again. He thought he would've cried himself dry by now, but they keep coming.

He misses them.

_What was going to happen? Will Soda, Darry and I get split up?_ They already would've lost their parents; they can't lose their brothers also. They'd have nothing. No family. There was a lump in Pony's throat from thinking about it, and he just wanted to go to sleep. He wanted to empty his whole mind just for a little while, so he had nothing to worry about. But he had too much in his mind. He hurt.

Everyone was awake in the Curtis family. Darry didn't get any sleep.

At 4 a.m., when it was still dark out, he climbed from bed and went to the kitchen. He turned the small light on, and jumped when he looked over to see Johnny lying on the couch, sleeping.

It shouldn't have been a shock. He comes by all the time at night because his parents beat him a lot. Sometimes we find Steve or Dally crashing here, too.

Darry wondered if Johnny's parents hurt him bad tonight.

Johnny stirred around in the couch a little. He was a light sleeper.

"Johnny." Darry whispered.

After a few seconds, Johnny opened his eyes. He blinked a little, and looked around until he noticed Darry and got up.

"Is it true?" Johnny asked, quietly.

He's always been a little on the quiet side, just like Ponyboy.

"That they're gone?" Johnny added, a little weakly. He didn't like making anyone in the gang upset or mad by what he says, so he's a little hesitant when he talks sometimes.

"Yeah, it's true." Darry said, sadly.

Johnny didn't know what to say. If it was Ponyboy, he would try to tell him that it would be okay. But this is Darry, and Darry doesn't need any comforting. He comforts himself. If anyone else comforts him it makes him feel like a baby. Darry was not a child, he can handle himself, and everyone knew that.

"Gosh, I'm real sorry. I can't…" Johnny's voice trailed off uncertainly.

Darry grinned a little at Johnny's shyness. Johnny was a good kid.

"It'll take some time, but we'll al be okay." Darry said quietly, thinking about his two brothers. It will take some time.

Johnny nodded. He knew neither of them wanted to talk about it no more.

"Your parents hurt you again tonight?"

Johnny shrugged, "Nothing I didn't expect."

"Okay. Get some sleep now."

Johnny obeyed. He pulled the blanket over him. There was always a blanket or two by the couch.

Darry sat down at the kitchen table. He had a lot of things to plan and decide.

He'll start with his parents' funeral, but that wasn't all he had to decide.


	2. Funeral and Nightmare

_Don't own The Outsiders._

_**Funeral**_

Soda Point of View

My dad knew quite a few people from work that came to the funeral. My mom was friendly with people at work too, but not as friendly as dad. She and Two- Bit's mom, Alice, were good friends. My mom worked two jobs. One at the deli downtown, and she was at the hardware store. They both worked hard to keep _us_ alive.

I sighed. I don't think there are any tears left in me. I walked into the old church with Steve and Ponyboy. Everyone else was in, because the funeral would start soon, but I didn't want to go in yet. Ponyboy kept real quiet the past two days. He only talked if he was being talked to, and even when he answered it wasn't more than a sentence.

None of us talked much, except last night when I got all upset again. I can't help it, I was the bawlin' baby of the family. Darry was the tough one, Ponyboy was the silent one who kept his thoughts building up in him until he just couldn't no more, and I was the bawler. Pony's been thinking; you can tell. He's sure a deep thinker. I don't even know what he thinks about, but he's been thinking so much lately, he hasn't spoke. He does that when things upset him or bug him.

I just told people how I felt though. Last night I woke up and couldn't go to sleep, so I went outside to smoke. I don't smoke so much, just when I'm over stressed or try to look tough. Thoughts went in and out of my mind and I wanted to talk to someone. I can't just hold it in like Ponyboy. Good thing Dallas came by, though, 'cause I was about to wake Darry up.

He wasn't even drunk. I half hoped he was though, because Darry ain't so sensitive a person. But I was surprised he listened… seriously listened.

If he was drunk, I could've rambled on and on and by morning he wouldn't have even remembered what we spoke about.

_I remember I was smoking outside, and Darry opened the gate and said, "Hey, Sodapop."_

_ None of the boys have been joking around at all. Maybe Two- Bit, just to lighten the mood and failing._

_ "Hey, Dallas." I said, crossing my legs as I leaned against the pole of the porch._

_ He walked up and just sat next to me for a while._

_ It wasn't uncomfortable, even. It was just real quiet except for the wind blowing around. It was real cold, too, especially at night, and I was only wearing a t-shirt and some old sweatpants._

_ "You know… It'll be okay." Dally finally spoke._

_ I've heard those words a lot. It's just what you are supposed to say. Will it really be okay, though? We are a broken family, how are we even supposed to stay together? I avoided the thought, but I knew we'd all have to make serious decisions within the next few days._

_ "Well, sure… you can say that." I wouldn't usually say something like that… especially to Dallas. I guess I was just lacking sleep and upset. Dallas' folks don't care about him. Of course he'd say it was alright, but he doesn't know how close our family was._

_ He didn't say anything._

_ "Gee, I'm sorry, Dallas. I didn't mean that…" I said, a bit tiredly._

_ "Yeah," He brushed it off because he didn't care 'bout it at all, "You're parents were really great, though. You're lucky. My parents don't even treat me like their son."_

_ He didn't say it like it hurt, because Dallas was never hurt. Emotionally, at least. I'm surprised he even said that much. I expected him to say 'hey' and walk into the house to the couch. _

_ "Yeah…" I said slowly. _

_ "I'm not a physiatrist or anything, man , but things will work itself out. You'll always go on."_

_ He walked inside._

_ After a few minutes, I went inside, too._

_ "Thanks, Dal." I said, and walked to me and Pony's room._

_ As I opened the door, Dallas sleepily said, "'Welcome."_

_ I figured that moment would be more appreciated in the morning when I wasn't so tired, and I was right._

Here I was, at my own parents' funeral. A lot of people came, which didn't surprise me. My folks were great people; they were well liked.

At one point I even got up to make a speech. I wasn't so great at presentations at school, so I figured that my speech here wouldn't end so well now either. I usually end up getting people to laugh in class, and strangely, that's what I did at the funeral.

I'm not sure how it ended that way, because, first I was saying about how much they were there for our family and we'll miss them, but next thing I knew I was sharing funny memories and moments. I think I started laughing because I was trying not to cry, or maybe it was nerves.

"I'll miss waking up every morning to her shattering glass or burning cereal in the kitchen… one time, she even dropped my own birthday cake onto Ponyboy because she stumbled." I sadly grinned, letting out a small laugh from the memory I said would never get old. A few people in the church let out small laughs, not sure whether it was appropriate or not for church. I didn't think it was inappropriate. I think my parents would appreciate it, so I added, "It was one of my favorite birthdays."

Everyone was smiling; they were sad smiles, but yes. People were actually smiling at a funeral because of me.

Everyone knew I wasn't trying to joke. This wasn't a day that you were supposed to be celebrating, but I thought it was o.k. to lighten the mood.

I looked over to Darry and Pony wondering if they were smiling. They were, Ponyboy was grinning at the cake memory, and then laughing a little. Darry looked at me and smiled, nodding.

Steve, Two- Bit, Dally and Johnny were all smiling, too.

It was o.k. to smile a funeral.

After I stepped down and sat back next to Darry and Soda, I was upset again. The more I thought about the memories, the more I missed them. We couldn't make any more memories with them, we can only remember them.

I sighed, and Darry looked down at me.

"You did good, little buddy. I bet Mom and Dad are smilin'."

After the funeral, Steve found me.

"Leave it to you to get people laughing at a funeral." He grinned. I sadly grinned back.

Two- Bit came walking up, and Johnny followed.

"They're glad you did that, Soda," Johnny quietly said, noticing my mood, "don't be so upset."

I messed up his hair, "I know."

- …. - …. - …-…..-….-….-…-

_2:00 AM- The next morning_

Across the room, I was woken up by screaming of bloody murder.

I panicked, jumping out of bed. I grabbed the bat from under the bed out of reflex.

At first, I thought a burglar got in or something, but then I realized the screaming was coming from Ponyboy across the room.

I quickly stumbled out of bed and across the room through the darkness, and I could hear Darry's footsteps coming down the hall to our room.

"Pony!" I shook him, but he was screaming and screaming. Gosh, I ain't never seen him scream like this; ever. It scared me. Darry opened the door and turned the lights on, confusion and worry swept across his face.

"Pone!" I shook him once more, "Pony, it's Soda, wake up."

Suddenly Pony jerked up, and was panting. A tear or two rolled down his face. The look of him made me stare for a second; it was a heartbreaking moment. I snapped out of it after a second.

He was still breathing heavily, and I was trying to calm him down, "Ponyboy, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

I was real worried. Pony never had nightmares before, and especially none that made him scream bloody murder. It must of scared him to death. I know me and Darry were scared to death.

Ponyboy nodded. He was sweating, and shaking. That dream must've been terrifying; scarin' him so bad.

"What was it about, Pone?" I asked, worriedly and I rubbed his shoulder.

Darry sat down on the bed with us.

He shook his head, "I don't remember."

"You… don't remember?"

"Not really, just that it was sc- really scary…" He voice was quiet and high. He sounded like a little kid instead of a 13 year old. I mean, he is a little kid I guess, but this was just out of character for him.

Darry looked down to the ground in sorrow. I bit my lip, and just continued rubbing Pony's back. We were at a loss for words; we ain't even seen Pony like this, and it broke our hears and we just didn't know what to do.

I climbed under the covers next to him, and threw my arm around him. His breathing was almost back to regular, but he was still shaken up a bit.

"It'll be okay… we'll be alright. Whatever you dreamt about, it ain't real. Don't worry about it." I never really had a terrible nightmare, so I didn't even know how he felt. I just hoped I could get him back to sleep, and without another nightmare.

He didn't say anything, and I sighed. I almost forgot Darry was there.

He looked sorrier than I've ever seen him. He's not real great at understanding in the first place, but it's not like he doesn't try. He does care and everything, he's just bad at showin' it. It's okay though, because we know Darry cares.

"Ponyboy, you want a glass of water?" He already started to leave the room to get it.

He must have a scratchy throat now from all that screaming.

He nodded, even though Darry was already gone.

"Pone, you really don't remember any of that dream?"

He hesitantly shook his head, but the then shrugged. I thought he was going to say something, because he looked like he was about to, but he never did.

"Was it about… Mom and Dad?"

Ponyboy's face went a little whiter. I'd take that as a yes, because he just wasn't talking. Sometimes Pony got like that. Like I said, he wasn't one to speak his mind all the time. He had billions of thoughts going on in his head, but that's where they mostly stayed. He was pretty quiet.

I doubted any of the gang was sleeping here, because if they was, they'd probably come in to see what's going on. Even Johnny.

Darry came back with the glass of water, and handed it to Pony.

Pony drank the whole glass, and put it on the dresser. He got closer to me, and I saw he was still shaken. I just wondered what in the world that dream was about. It takes a lot to get Pony shaken like that.

_**Author's Note: **_**I know I' haven't gotten to how Darry has to make the decision of being the legal guardian of Soda and Pony, so I'm doing that next chapter. I just feel like I should say that incase you were wondering why the heck I didn't start on that whole thing. NEXT CHAPTER! REVIEW!**


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